Dear strangers,

Or should i say brothers and sisters?..
Im having my little doubts since long time ago.. yes..about religion..about God..
but yea MOST of the time i do believe in him..cause i mean, i need someone to believe in,someone i know exist..but at the same time doesnt.

My brother which just came from miami yesterday, hes just spending xmas break with us..the family. Im not really sure if this is a family, honestly.. They dont know much about what i want, no, they really dont.. they always get the bad concept, im the bad person, always. BUt im not getting in that now.. i wanted to emphasise on my brother. I love my brother to death, hes amazing and a role model to follow for sure. He is an atheist. I HAVE ABSOLUTLY nothing against that, i mean half of me is atheist.. like i said before..i just NEED to believe in someone magical cause im afraid, afraid of things that might happen, but here comes one of my zillion questions.. HAS anyone ever seen God.. is he going to take you out of trouble.. is it really him? or just destiny itself?.
My mind spins.
Im really not what i look like.. no friend of mine knows me.
I just try to be different and show a normal side.

BUt noone really knows..